5 Steps to Start Healing Shame & Guilt Right Now

September 27, 2022

Shame is one the most uncomfortable and suffering-inducing emotions we can have. Much intrigue, fear, sadness and maliciousness can stem from unresolved shame.

It can show up in many ways: shyness, insecurity, instability, low self-esteem, feeling bad/wrong, not good enough, upset, isolated, paranoid, blaming, confrontational or scared of conflict, afraid of connection or commitment (to life, yourself or other people).

Also, shame can be seen as… innocence…

It’s that feeling of ‘I am so vulnerable, so small in this Big World’…
so uncertain of myself, child-like shy, limited and innocently unaware of All I AM…

When we tap into this space of Innocence within shame… we start to unite these polarised but forever connected energies into a neutral state of Just Being…
Neither good or bad, right or wrong…

Being stuck on just one possibility of being with shame, we can’t quite move past it and onto the next stage.

Here are 5 Healing Steps to take to start shifting your relationship with shame:

1. Name it – shame can be one of the trickiest emotions to detect. We often hide it under sadness, anger and frustration, especially at others and life circumstances.You could start naming it neutrally: “I feel shame right now.”

2. Acknowledge Normalcy: if we make being ashamed wrong, we shame ourselves and make it bigger! So instead – look around and you’ll see that everybody is ashamed of something now and again. You are normal & aren’t weak for feeling this way!

3. Expose it: shame feeds off secrecy – once it’s in the open, it diminishes its grip on you. Write it with kindness in your journal, practice courage by sharing with a compassionate person you trust.

4. Stop the Self-Blame Thrower: we believe that if we stop shaming & berating ourselves, we won’t change. However, research and common sense show that it doesn’t work. We continue feeling bad and behaving in the same way. Hurt never heals, only Love does. Whenever you notice being judgy to self, use a higher path: “I forgive & accept myself for being imperfect. I open to seeing Truth and Love in Who I am.”

5. Seek Help: By working with gifted healers and heartful professionals, I moved much faster on my own journey with shame. These healing experiences all helped me uncover my individual lessons around self-loathing, self-dislike and self-judgement, allowing me to elevate into much deeper self-love and appreciation.

In a Shame-Healing transmission this Wednesday 28th of October, we will start healing Shame by taking 3 Steps – energetically, mentally and emotionally in a deep guided process.

to join, click HERE

Looking forward to seeing you then! Please RSVP “Going” or “Maybe” on fb, so Facebook reminds you when we go Live and when the Replay is ready!


P.S. Feel like going Deeper & making Bigger Changes for Yourself? In my “Love Being You” programme, we work a lot with shame where I bring people through individual journeys on emotional mastery and gaining your Great Life Power from shame. Feel free to book a Discovery Session to chat about my Deepest Dive one-to-one programme to date and what it can do for you HERE.

How to Overcome Insecurity around Taking Action

September 11, 2022
adventure beautiful boardwalk bridge

Things will always come up when we decide to venture into the unknown – the choice is to take new actions or to choose to see outer circumstance being something that stops us…

There is no shame in either- it’s a part of being human – and if we choose to believe that events-Universe happens TO US without our choice – we are subconsciously giving up our Power and buying into “victim mentality”.

Whether you blame the circumstance or yourself, blame plays the biggest disempowering role here as it blocks you from seeing the Truth – that you always have a choice and you are always in power.

𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙞𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙥 𝙪𝙨 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙘𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨𝙡𝙮 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙚:

– pretend that the circumstance is bigger than we are… because…

– we forgot that we are Infinite and are the Creators of our reality and affect everything in it;

– we are running limiting programming in our subconscious;

– we believe that Fear is something to listen to & that it keeps us safe;

– we weren’t shown the ways to move past our fears & limiting beliefs.

🔥 I felt inspired to list here some of the Key Points I share with clients in the “Love Being You” programme to help them get unstuck and take action:

1. 𝙈𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙁𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝘾𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨: if you feel angry with life or yourself for not taking action – get curious 🤔instead. There is a reason why whatever is coming up for you is coming up – this moves you from a destructive energy of judgement into a creative, upward energy of exploration and adventure.

2. 𝘼𝙙𝙢𝙞𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙑𝙪𝙡𝙣𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙗𝙞𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙮 – without accepting how you feel, you keep what you need to work through in the Shadow. You can’t change what you can’t see.

3. 𝘼𝙘𝙘𝙚𝙥𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙇𝙚𝙩 𝙜𝙤 𝙤𝙛 𝙎𝙝𝙖𝙢𝙚:
shame keeps us smaller than any other emotion, and it dies when we expose it. Admitting and accepting Vulnerability is Courage and that is the first step to Power. Without courage we cannot change.

4. 𝙇𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙎𝙪𝙥𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚:
We often feel stumped by challenges not because we are weak, stupid or incapable but because we were not taught at home or at school how to work through our triggers, love ourselves and apply spiritual principles to daily chalenges. Finding key teachings, tools and techniques to move through resistance, fear and apathy have been instrumental to me and many of my clients in changing who we are with grace and more ease.

I hope this helps anybody who is going through resistance to change right now.
Do like below and comment if you resonated with this post.

To find out how I could help you move out of fear of showing up in the world and becoming naturally you – Book a Discovery Call with me. :)

𝝜𝗼𝘄 𝐭𝗼 𝗵𝗮𝛎𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 E𝗳𝗳𝗼𝗿𝐭𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳━𝝖𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝐢𝗮𝐭𝐢𝗼𝗻̡ 𝗝𝗼𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗙𝘂𝗻 𝗲𝛎𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗱𝗮𝘆!

August 11, 2022

Recently I had a massive a-ha moment that literally changed how much I enjoyed my life and everything in it! 

Somebody pointed out an interesting perspective to me: I was expecting & ultra-focusing on Big Things in life … in business, in relationships, in myself…

So what, you might ask?

High aspirations, Big dreams and all that…isn’t it Great?🍒

Well, as I put so much value on things being ‘The Best’, I was more disappointed with everything else, it wasn’t ‘good enough’ and I missed out on many other wonderful things just because they weren’t meeting my high expectations!

Like, if I planned to have a Good time – it had to be AMAZING!!!! (Definitely with ALL CAPS! :D) If I did something – it had to be Great! If I was making a choice, I’d only say Yes if I absolutely LOVED IT!
Perfectionism, unrealistic pressures on myself, self-criticism and all or nothing mentality, plus exhaustion!

Working with the “negative mindset” for over twenty years wasn’t enough – it’s like I cleared just one side of the coin… the Opposite side of it was “super-charged” by expecting the Best out of everything!

When I tuned into it, I could see my sweet innocent child self reaching out and hoping that the Best Miracle would happen and wash away all the Worst in the World… 

I could see how when I was little and nobody showed me how to surrender difficult feelings, they felt overwhelmingly bad, so I wanted and “prayed for” overwhelmingly Good things instead!

So, once I recognised what I was doing, something clicked🌟:

1️⃣ I acknowledged my power in how what I chose to believe affected my ability to see and feel Good in the world.

2️⃣ I did not let myself get judgemental about myself. I stayed Curious, Kind and Honest. This is a chance to heal and make me feel better! :) Everything I get to discover – helps me!

3️⃣ I visualised the Big Lows I did not enjoy in life: despair, fear, upset, sadness down at the bottom of this big picture of life… and then I imagined seeing at the very top of it what I absolutely loved: the Huge Joy, Big Delight, overflowing Happiness — this allowed me to see how much space there was between the two – and how many things I was missing out on because I was only focusing on the Best and the Worst in life!

4️⃣ I then took a breath and imagined what else might be between these Best and Worst versions: and… there it was, my whole life – most of it was actually between these two points! And I was ignoring and paying little attention to So Much of it as I gave so little importance to the in-between things… the small and medium-size highs and lows, little surprises, small woes, the greys, bues, reds, pinks and violets and all other colours in between….

I was missing 🌈 the Rainbow of Experiences that makes up Life.

5️⃣ I made a mental choice to welcome all of the in-between things into my awareness, to recognise them as being incredibly worthy and important of my attention! :) and with that I welcomed myself back into life deeper than ever before – it’s like I moved from seeing parts of the picture into seeing everything in more colour, more hues, more shades!

The day I had done that is the day I started to effortlessly appreciate life more, this brought my disappointment way down as my expectations weren’t as high! I permitted myself to enjoy every little thing that came my way! And my life became naturally a lot more fun! 🍒

YOU are Your Power! : )

July 21, 2022

Your power is YOU –

your literal energy, aliveness, consciousness, presence and being.

Whenever I get taken up by believing that my being will feel better when I am more loved by others –

I start to feel inadequate, guilty and anxious to FIT my being into their expectations, desires and their definitions of me.

This instantly makes me feel off-centre, dis-empowered and dis-connected from the true source of my power – my unique presence and being.

It always helps to notice how bad that feels, so I know straight away that I’m attempting to plug into somebody else’s power and not my own…

So, I tune into me, truly notice my breathing and feelings, and breathe deeper through and beyond this discomfort –

out and beyond this sensation, beyond my body, beyond the room I’m in, beyond our planet and into the Infinite Consciousness of my being…

and return to Feeling Good again! 🙂

How I Overcame my Fear of Speaking in front of Authority and Started to Express Myself & Speak My Truth.

July 5, 2022
laughing baby floating on air
Photo by Aleksandr Balandin on Pexels.com

Being Too Much is something I was accused of from a young age, so I grew up with a sense of internal guilt for upsetting others, second-guessing what I say to people, worried to be seen as foolish in front of “authority”. There was a lot of inner judgement, crippling anxiety, fear of being wrong. 

I remember 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙥𝙤𝙞𝙜𝙣𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙢𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 in my twenties: during a shamanic course the teacher strutted around and detailed his relationships with women and one “bitchy” supermodel! 😨🥵 In my heart, gut and head I knew this wasn’t what I signed up for, but I stayed out of “politeness”! 🙊 It got worse when I asked a question and was told “Why don’t you get it? Everyone else has got it?!” – I felt hit by a wave of shock, anger and overwhelm! I wanted to say that chatting about exes during class and putting students down was unacceptable! 🤬… but I couldn’t find clarity and courage… 

I left the course that day – angry and unexpressed but with a decision that I cannot allow my fear and self-judgement keep blocking who I am. 

The path of change from then on was gradual, but I now know that
𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙩𝙪𝙙𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙮𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙙 – 𝙄 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙙. 

Below are The Key Points of Change that 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙖𝙡𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙨𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙡 & 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙮 𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙄 𝙖𝙢 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄 𝙨𝙖𝙮: 

1. 𝙄𝙣𝙣𝙚𝙧 𝘾𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙙 𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙠: Our mental foundation is constructed in early childhood. When I got it, I could no longer be mean, nasty or angry with a part of my mind that was effectively a toddler! This brought on a lot of compassion, understanding and kindness into my inner world, helped resolve inner conflict and greatly sped up release of unhelpful feelings, beliefs and behaviours. It helps to start Inner Child work with somebody who can hold space for you and guide you, as it feels safer to connect, share and resolve trauma and hurt. 

2. 𝘼𝙘𝙘𝙚𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙊𝙪𝙧 𝙃𝙪𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨: Whatever I sense and feel (peaceful, sad, angry, etc.) is my interaction with life as a human. I was surprised to learn that I really judged my human experience, I was stuck resisting what I needed to live and learn. So I started releasing my attachments to feeling only “Good & Mighty” by reassuring myself that it’s safe to feel bad and that everybody feels how I do sometimes. 

3. 𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙏𝙤𝙤 𝙎𝙝𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙋𝙖𝙨𝙨: When we resist how life feels to us, we hang on to “incomplete” experiences which block us from feeling something new. When I realised emotions were always passing experiences because one experience invariably follows another, I stopped being afraid to feel and allowed my feelings to naturally resolve, because it’s always a temporary “ride”! :) 

4. 𝙍𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡 𝙃𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙮: Doing fake positivity doesn’t let us resolve anything, because we can’t deal with something that’s not real! Only when I learned to acknowledge and accept how I felt, was I able to allow fear, anxiety, worry to move through me and dissolve, thus freeing me from having these as my stuck, habitual feelings. 

5. 𝙁𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙍𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙏𝙤𝙤𝙡𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙔𝙤𝙪: I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t found teachers, healers, coaches who have resolved for themselves what I was dealing with into harmony and mastery! I got both the insight into what’s holding me back and got help resolving it.

I hope this has inspired you or gave you some insights! :) Feel free to comment below regarding which point resonated with you or surprised you the most!
If you’d like to know more about how I could help you shed insecurity, worry about others’ opinions and become more confident, secure and peaceful in who you are – book a Discovery Call HERE with me! :)

*Disclaimer: the informaiton in this and other posts on this website are my personal expereinces and they are not a replacement for psychological or medical advice or diagnosis.