Antidote for Feeling the Pressure to “Take Sides” in order to Belong. Update vs. Identify.

In the last 3 years I have seen more families, friends and communities turn away from each other because they chose opposing points of view.

I also see a new way that’s emerging for all of us, where we can remain true to who we are and still be connected with people who don’t share our opinions.

How can we do this?

What helps is acknowledging that a conscious biological life is running through ALL of us. E.g. we all belong to one massive biologically interconnected organism called humanity, and also to all life forms on this planet through the intricate intelligent microbiology (fungi global network connects all of life). It is how it is beyond our control or individual opinions. It connects us whether we consciously accept it or not. It is deeper and more unifying than any differences we might focus on in our minds.

We can also acknowledge another perspective: beyond life expressing itself as forms, there is a deep harmonious presence that is endless and infinite – in scientific lingo we can call it the “Universal Field”, “Quantum Intelligence Field”, more commonly the Source, God, Great Spirit. Try as you may to deny this, your consciousness and all atoms in your body are a part of ONE field with everybody else! We all affect each other and at that level of consciousness, we actually cooperate with each other, because we are also one ‘consciousness organism’.

This greater spiritual awareness helps to understand that any opinion you hold about another person or event – can only be partially accurate, because there is a Bigger Picture of how it fits in within the Greater evolution and harmony of the Universe beyond a particular time and local space.

That does not mean that you will cease to form opinions: you will have a chance to form an informed perspective each day as new data widen your awareness, based on which you will hold ‘an opinion’. Your awareness will always inform your actions. You can also share your viewpoints with others so they get a chance to see the world “through your eyes” to widen their view – if they choose to. The difference is that you will no longer feel ‘attacked personally’, as your identity is not under any threat, because you yourself no longer think of yourself as a bunch of viewpoints. You now know they are a part of what you see at the time and not who you are. :)

The conflict and pain only arise if you feel so identified with a particular perspective, you feel threatened when it is time to widen it. As in it may feel to you like YOU – your whole being – is being destroyed when your opinion needs to change into a new one.

A lot of harm has been done by people to other people and the Earth from a desire to ‘keep’ one’s opinions unchanged. Ideological wars is a prime example. My ‘opinion’ ;) is that many outdated scientific theories have been kept much longer than needed – sometimes to humanity’s detriment. Think of Galileo Galilei who was under a house arrest for the last 8 years of his life because he perceived that the Earth rotated around the sun and people in power held onto an opinion that it was the other way around!

The solution is to open your mind to the fact that you cannot possibly know 100% truth, therefore at best you can just hold a temporary opinion until more information arrives and you are free to update it! By focusing on updating rather than identifying with what you perceive and currently think, you get several ‘bonus points’:

  • your mind stays more flexible and you are more able to form your own opinions, independent from a sense of indentity and belonging to any one opinionated group of people;
  • you stay more cheerful and relaxed when other people are very protective of what they believe, e.g. shout or try to enforce them – you simplyu allow them to have a temporary opinion that ‘opinions matter more than life’;
  • you are not forced to seek belonging through shared mental outlooks, you know you are securely connected with humanity beyond individual or collective points of view.
  • you feel less threat, fear or anger when your opinion doesn’t match with somebody else, you are safe as you no longer view yourself as something that can be attacked or destroyed mentally.

We can then be present and relate from a deeper truth with all beings – whatever mental stance they may take.

The same principle works if you wish to connect and feel a deeper belonging not only with humans but with the animal kingdom: when you are more curious about widening your persepctive and learning from life rather than ‘knowing it all’, you think less, your mind quietens, your brain enters into a more widely persceptive and peaceful Alpha frequency. This is where animals relax their perspective of vigilance and fear as they pick up on your peacefulness and start to hold a different ‘opinion’ about you :)

You can stop fighting to belong: you are never alone, and you are always in unity with all.