Recently I had a massive a-ha moment that literally changed how much I enjoyed my life and everything in it!
Somebody pointed out an interesting perspective to me: I was expecting & ultra-focusing on Big Things in life โฆ in business, in relationships, in myself…
So what, you might ask?
High aspirations, Big dreams and all thatโฆisn’t it Great?๐
Well, as I put so much value on things being โThe Bestโ, I was more disappointed with everything else, it wasnโt โgood enoughโ and I missed out on many other wonderful things just because they werenโt meeting my high expectations!
Like, if I planned to have a Good time – it had to be AMAZING!!!! (Definitely with ALL CAPS! :D) If I did something – it had to be Great! If I was making a choice, Iโd only say Yes if I absolutely LOVED IT!
Perfectionism, unrealistic pressures on myself, self-criticism and all or nothing mentality, plus exhaustion!
Working with the โnegative mindsetโ for over twenty years wasnโt enough – itโs like I cleared just one side of the coinโฆ the Opposite side of it was โsuper-charged” by expecting the Best out of everything!
When I tuned into it, I could see my sweet innocent child self reaching out and hoping that the Best Miracle would happen and wash away all the Worst in the Worldโฆ
I could see how when I was little and nobody showed me how to surrender difficult feelings, they felt overwhelmingly bad, so I wanted and โprayed forโ overwhelmingly Good things instead!
So, once I recognised what I was doing, something clicked๐:
1๏ธโฃ I acknowledged my power in how what I chose to believe affected my ability to see and feel Good in the world.
2๏ธโฃ I did not let myself get judgemental about myself. I stayed Curious, Kind and Honest. This is a chance to heal and make me feel better! :) Everything I get to discover – helps me!
3๏ธโฃ I visualised the Big Lows I did not enjoy in life: despair, fear, upset, sadness down at the bottom of this big picture of lifeโฆ and then I imagined seeing at the very top of it what I absolutely loved: the Huge Joy, Big Delight, overflowing Happiness — this allowed me to see how much space there was between the two – and how many things I was missing out on because I was only focusing on the Best and the Worst in life!
4๏ธโฃ I then took a breath and imagined what else might be between these Best and Worst versions: andโฆ there it was, my whole life – most of it was actually between these two points! And I was ignoring and paying little attention to So Much of it as I gave so little importance to the in-between thingsโฆ the small and medium-size highs and lows, little surprises, small woes, the greys, bues, reds, pinks and violets and all other colours in betweenโฆ.
I was missing ๐ the Rainbow of Experiences that makes up Life.
5๏ธโฃ I made a mental choice to welcome all of the in-between things into my awareness, to recognise them as being incredibly worthy and important of my attention! :) and with that I welcomed myself back into life deeper than ever before – itโs like I moved from seeing parts of the picture into seeing everything in more colour, more hues, more shades!
The day I had done that is the day I started to effortlessly appreciate life more, this brought my disappointment way down as my expectations werenโt as high! I permitted myself to enjoy every little thing that came my way! And my life became naturally a lot more fun! ๐