Recently I had a massive a-ha moment that literally changed how much I enjoyed my life and everything in it!
Somebody pointed out an interesting perspective to me: I was expecting & ultra-focusing on Big Things in life … in business, in relationships, in myself…
So what, you might ask?
High aspirations, Big dreams and all that…isn’t it Great?🍒
Well, as I put so much value on things being ‘The Best’, I was more disappointed with everything else, it wasn’t ‘good enough’ and I missed out on many other wonderful things just because they weren’t meeting my high expectations!
Like, if I planned to have a Good time – it had to be AMAZING!!!! (Definitely with ALL CAPS! :D) If I did something – it had to be Great! If I was making a choice, I’d only say Yes if I absolutely LOVED IT!
Perfectionism, unrealistic pressures on myself, self-criticism and all or nothing mentality, plus exhaustion!
Working with the “negative mindset” for over twenty years wasn’t enough – it’s like I cleared just one side of the coin… the Opposite side of it was “super-charged” by expecting the Best out of everything!
When I tuned into it, I could see my sweet innocent child self reaching out and hoping that the Best Miracle would happen and wash away all the Worst in the World…
I could see how when I was little and nobody showed me how to surrender difficult feelings, they felt overwhelmingly bad, so I wanted and “prayed for” overwhelmingly Good things instead!
So, once I recognised what I was doing, something clicked🌟:
1️⃣ I acknowledged my power in how what I chose to believe affected my ability to see and feel Good in the world.
2️⃣ I did not let myself get judgemental about myself. I stayed Curious, Kind and Honest. This is a chance to heal and make me feel better! :) Everything I get to discover – helps me!
3️⃣ I visualised the Big Lows I did not enjoy in life: despair, fear, upset, sadness down at the bottom of this big picture of life… and then I imagined seeing at the very top of it what I absolutely loved: the Huge Joy, Big Delight, overflowing Happiness — this allowed me to see how much space there was between the two – and how many things I was missing out on because I was only focusing on the Best and the Worst in life!
4️⃣ I then took a breath and imagined what else might be between these Best and Worst versions: and… there it was, my whole life – most of it was actually between these two points! And I was ignoring and paying little attention to So Much of it as I gave so little importance to the in-between things… the small and medium-size highs and lows, little surprises, small woes, the greys, bues, reds, pinks and violets and all other colours in between….
I was missing 🌈 the Rainbow of Experiences that makes up Life.
5️⃣ I made a mental choice to welcome all of the in-between things into my awareness, to recognise them as being incredibly worthy and important of my attention! :) and with that I welcomed myself back into life deeper than ever before – it’s like I moved from seeing parts of the picture into seeing everything in more colour, more hues, more shades!
The day I had done that is the day I started to effortlessly appreciate life more, this brought my disappointment way down as my expectations weren’t as high! I permitted myself to enjoy every little thing that came my way! And my life became naturally a lot more fun! 🍒