How I Overcame my Fear of Speaking in front of Authority and Started to Express Myself & Speak My Truth.

laughing baby floating on air
Photo by Aleksandr Balandin on

Being Too Much is something I was accused of from a young age, so I grew up with a sense of internal guilt for upsetting others, second-guessing what I say to people, worried to be seen as foolish in front of “authority”. There was a lot of inner judgement, crippling anxiety, fear of being wrong.ย 

I remember ๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™š ๐™ฅ๐™ค๐™ž๐™œ๐™ฃ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™ฉ ๐™ข๐™ค๐™ข๐™š๐™ฃ๐™ฉ in my twenties: during a shamanic course the teacher strutted around and detailed his relationships with women and one “bitchy” supermodel! ๐Ÿ˜จ๐Ÿฅต In my heart, gut and head I knew this wasn’t what I signed up for, but I stayed out of “politeness”! ๐Ÿ™Š It got worse when I asked a question and was told โ€œWhy don’t you get it? Everyone else has got it?!โ€ – I felt hit by a wave of shock, anger and overwhelm! I wanted to say that chatting about exes during class and putting students down was unacceptable! ๐Ÿคฌ… but I couldn’t find clarity and courage… 

I left the course that day – angry and unexpressed but with a decision that I cannot allow my fear and self-judgement keep blocking who I am. 

The path of change from then on was gradual, but I now know that
๐™’๐™๐™š๐™ฃ ๐™ข๐™ฎ ๐™–๐™ฉ๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ช๐™™๐™š ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™ข๐™ฎ๐™จ๐™š๐™ก๐™› ๐™˜๐™๐™–๐™ฃ๐™œ๐™š๐™™ – ๐™„ ๐™˜๐™๐™–๐™ฃ๐™œ๐™š๐™™. 

Below are The Key Points of Change that ๐™˜๐™ค๐™ข๐™ฅ๐™ก๐™š๐™ฉ๐™š๐™ก๐™ฎ ๐™–๐™ก๐™ฉ๐™š๐™ง๐™š๐™™ ๐™ข๐™ฎ ๐™ก๐™ž๐™›๐™š ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™–๐™ก๐™ก๐™ค๐™ฌ๐™š๐™™ ๐™ข๐™š ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™ข๐™ค๐™ซ๐™š ๐™›๐™ง๐™ค๐™ข ๐™จ๐™ข๐™–๐™ก๐™ก & ๐™ฌ๐™ค๐™ง๐™ง๐™ž๐™š๐™™ ๐™–๐™—๐™ค๐™ช๐™ฉ ๐™ฌ๐™๐™–๐™ฉ ๐™ค๐™ฉ๐™๐™š๐™ง๐™จ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™  ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐™—๐™š๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™ฉ๐™ง๐™ช๐™ก๐™ฎ ๐™–๐™ฅ๐™ฅ๐™ง๐™š๐™˜๐™ž๐™–๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ซ๐™š ๐™ค๐™› ๐™ฌ๐™๐™ค ๐™„ ๐™–๐™ข ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™˜๐™ค๐™ข๐™›๐™ค๐™ง๐™ฉ๐™–๐™—๐™ก๐™š ๐™ฌ๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ ๐™ฌ๐™๐™–๐™ฉ ๐™„ ๐™จ๐™–๐™ฎ: 

1. ๐™„๐™ฃ๐™ฃ๐™š๐™ง ๐˜พ๐™๐™ž๐™ก๐™™ ๐™’๐™ค๐™ง๐™ : Our mental foundation is constructed in early childhood. When I got it, I could no longer be mean, nasty or angry with a part of my mind that was effectively a toddler! This brought on a lot of compassion, understanding and kindness into my inner world, helped resolve inner conflict and greatly sped up release of unhelpful feelings, beliefs and behaviours. It helps to start Inner Child work with somebody who can hold space for you and guide you, as it feels safer to connect, share and resolve trauma and hurt. 

2. ๐˜ผ๐™˜๐™˜๐™š๐™ฅ๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™œ ๐™Š๐™ช๐™ง ๐™ƒ๐™ช๐™ข๐™–๐™ฃ๐™ฃ๐™š๐™จ๐™จ: Whatever I sense and feel (peaceful, sad, angry, etc.) is my interaction with life as a human. I was surprised to learn that I really judged my human experience, I was stuck resisting what I needed to live and learn. So I started releasing my attachments to feeling only “Good & Mighty” by reassuring myself that it’s safe to feel bad and that everybody feels how I do sometimes. 

3. ๐™๐™๐™ž๐™จ ๐™๐™ค๐™ค ๐™Ž๐™๐™–๐™ก๐™ก ๐™‹๐™–๐™จ๐™จ: When we resist how life feels to us, we hang on to “incomplete” experiences which block us from feeling something new. When I realised emotions were always passing experiences because one experience invariably follows another, I stopped being afraid to feel and allowed my feelings to naturally resolve, because it’s always a temporary “ride”! :) 

4. ๐™๐™–๐™™๐™ž๐™˜๐™–๐™ก ๐™ƒ๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™š๐™จ๐™ฉ๐™ฎ: Doing fake positivity doesn’t let us resolve anything, because we can’t deal with something that’s not real! Only when I learned to acknowledge and accept how I felt, was I able to allow fear, anxiety, worry to move through me and dissolve, thus freeing me from having these as my stuck, habitual feelings. 

5. ๐™๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™ฉ๐™๐™š ๐™๐™ž๐™œ๐™๐™ฉ ๐™๐™ค๐™ค๐™ก๐™จ ๐™›๐™ค๐™ง ๐™”๐™ค๐™ช: I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t found teachers, healers, coaches who have resolved for themselves what I was dealing with into harmony and mastery! I got both the insight into what’s holding me back and got help resolving it.

I hope this has inspired you or gave you some insights! :) Feel free to comment below regarding which point resonated with you or surprised you the most!
If you’d like to know more about how I could help you shed insecurity, worry about others’ opinions and become more confident, secure and peaceful in who you are โ€“ book a Discovery Call HERE with me! :)

*Disclaimer: the informaiton in this and other posts on this website are my personal expereinces and they are not a replacement for psychological or medical advice or diagnosis.